I smell stomach acid.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
