I should be sponsored by Trojan
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
