Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
