this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
