R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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