Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Randomize
