Who did Billy Mays play for?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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