What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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