he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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