Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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