You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
NoShamevember. You game?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
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