i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
