you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
sex in a hospital.. check
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
