note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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