Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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