he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I don't think brook has ever known best
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
