Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
