How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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