let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Randomize
