whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
