Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
