if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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