I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
