There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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