i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
