For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
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This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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