I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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