is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
