I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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