is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
time to smoke my breakfast
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
