You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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