I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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