Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
