pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
