There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
