omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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