Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
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