Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
