Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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