We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
