Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
