Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Just cropdusted the office
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
