i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
There r osticjed everywhere
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
All I want is dick and wine.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
