My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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