If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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