So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
