Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.

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(731): View more from Tennessee

new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.

(1-731): View more from Tennessee

ohh what kind?

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(646): View more from New York

I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback

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(352): View more from Florida

dude they were twins that means they were both only 17

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(416): View more from Toronto

Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order

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(909): View more from California

The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."

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(516): View more from New York

He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.

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(408): View more from California

this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it

(408): View more from California

its winning. its definitely happening

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(218): View more from Minnesota

Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.

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