If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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