I only kidnapped one of them. chill
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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