In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
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