Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
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