..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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