let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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