i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
