Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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