somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
