So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
