you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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