i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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