someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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